When Ink becomes a movement: Project Semicolon

In recent years ,you might have seen someone with a Semi-colon tattoo.If not, you may not be looking close enough. They're popping up...

Tattoos, which for most of the years were frowned upon, looked upon as a sign of being rebellious, slowly changed their perception to be considered as a work of art to something that can have a social impact..Semicolon gained popularity in the last couple of years, unlike some random trend, this has a serious meaning behind it. Semicolon tattoos represent mental health struggles & suicide prevention.

It all started in 2013 by Amy Bleul to honour her late father whom she lost to suicide. With her own lifelong battle with depression,Suicidal tendencies and substance abuse after her father's death, she set out to create awareness for those who battle mental health challenges, substance addiction and Suicidal tendencies. And hence, project Semicolon was born. By 2017, Bleuel's battle ended in tragedy as she took her own life but her story and legacy saved thousands.

"A semicolon is used when an author could’ve chosen to end their sentence, but chose not to. The author is you, and the sentence is your life,” explains Project Semicolon’s website. Punctuations help you say exactly what you mean, but few think of it as more than a way to pause or end a sentence. But for thousands affected by mental health, the semicolon has become an important signifier of survival.

According to the Substance Abuse and Mental Health Administration’s 2016 National Survey on Drug Use and Health, 9.8 million people seriously thought about committing suicide. This is a separate number from those who have a mental illness, as the two are not always related. And that’s exactly what project semicolon  is working to change—the stigma around suicide.It quickly became a social media movement, which encouraged people to get a semicolon tattoo as a form of showing solidarity and one's personal fight with depression and suicidal thoughts.

People have embraced the symbol as a reminder that their story isn’t over yet—and that they should tell it.What’s more, the tattoo has encouraged people to demand recognition for and discussion about illnesses that often skates under the radar because they are invisible. Soon it was not just survivors but supporters started getting semi colon inked to show themselves as a safe place to share your thoughts and struggles.

Ink has always been a conversation starter, and the semicolon emblem is no different. It’s an opportunity for survivors, those who battle every day, and even to supporters who talk to those unaware of mental illness. It gives them the opportunity to talk without fear of being judged or misunderstood.

We must realize, Mental illnesses may have no signs, no warnings and can sometimes be very sudden symptoms. One day you can be laughing with a friend and the next day, they could be gone. That’s the case some people have experienced, hence the start of initiatives like Project Semicolon.

Reading about the project and drawing semicolons all over your body won’t end your mental struggles, but it will make your grief a little bit easier to handle. The key to the success of the project remains to be in giving hope to people whose struggles become intolerable for them to remain alive. When we pursue efforts to raise awareness for mental illness within our families and communities, those who deal with it typically feel less alone and desperate – it helps to make them more inclined to ask for help while feeling safe and unjudged. That’s the help that may well save their life..!!

Sorces: bustle.com,grammarly.com,empower-mag.com

My Journey With Mental Health

Mental health is something that is so misunderstood and still taboos in our society and I have been guilty of being uneducated and ignorant about the same in past. It took me to go through this myself to fully understand the complication and seriousness of mental health. Thus I share my experience with mental health in a hope that it can help in spreading awareness and help those who are going through it. I suffer from moderate depression and anxiety disorder and I am under treatment and cognitive behavioral therapy for the same for the last 10 months.

To give some background about myself, I've been in the IT profession for the past 7 years living in the city of dreams all by myself. I was very content with my work and my work was my stress buster for most of my life. By nature I am a very introverted person and usually takes me a lot of time to open up and gel with people and only with a selected few people. I was always that person of the group who would cancel plans and stay at home unless very necessary. and for the most part, I thought my life was very normal.

The realization of the issues hit me when I had multiple changes in my life all at once and all positive. I changed the city to the one I always wanted to live where most of my college friends were. I took the next step in my professional life and took a more challenging role for which I worked very hard. I was taking the next milestone in my personal life by getting engaged to the person I love. Basically, I was having everything I always wanted and was in one of the highest phases of my life. Practically it should have been the happiest time of my life but somehow it was not. That's where I started to realize something was wrong.

It all started with physical exhaustion. I would feel too tired and too weak all the time at the office. I started procrastinating things. I would always feel that I am sick, constant feeling of having a fever, constant weakness, loss of appetite. I was very sure that something was wrong with me physically. I went through weeks of physical testing from blood tests to MRI I had it all. All reports were fine, Doctors gave me general feedbacks that your BP might be fluctuating, it might be a heatstroke, etc. I started monitoring my BP and blood sugar regularly but every time they would show up in normal range while I would feel week in my knees. I would feel so low that I would cry for no reason. In the middle of work, I started having breakdowns.

Slowly anxiety started making its way in my life. As I would feel too weak and exhausted I started procrastinating work and then I would feel anxious because I was not getting things done, I was not productive and I have never been so poor at my work where I would struggle to meet deadlines.

This was also impacting my relationships and I would constantly hear from my loved ones that why I was not happy. They could see the change in me that I was running away from everything. And I would get frustrated with myself that am I feeling this miserable when I should be the happiest. This would again lead to breakdowns leading to panic attacks and slowing it became a routine.

Being an introvert already these issues made me go into a shell. I stopped interacting with everyone and my social life became zero by this point.

Now my escape route was that I started convincing myself that a new work environment and new workload is the issue. And If I can get to a different workplace it should be all fine. I got a few jobs offers as well but I never made that move because somewhere at the back of my head I knew this was not a problem. I continued and few months into my work my role was changed again and I thought this is it, now everything will be ok. Meanwhile, I got married as well and it was very normal. I was not feeling that excitement or that jitter that most bride feels. I was not unhappy with any of my choices but why I was not excited remained a question to me. Months passed by and time confirmed that something was wrong and then I considered checking my emotional well-being with a psychiatrist who confirmed that indeed I have moderate depression and anxiety disorder. Unlike popular belief that depression can only occur if you have some traumatic experience or when you are in a low phase of life it can happen to anyone at any time. I am the living example of this, depression occurred to me when I was in the shining phase of my life and I never had any traumatic experience in the past that would lead me to utter sadness.

I met with Dr. Ashwini Kulkarni, my psychiatrist in Pune, and started my journey towards healing which is a combination of medicines and therapy.

Many people have questions on how do you know if you need to go to a psychiatrist. from my experience some symptoms that you should look out for:

#Loss of appetite

        #Trouble falling asleep

        #feeling tired and exhausted after waking up

        #Loss of interest

        #feeling of exhaustion most of the time

        #Procastination

        #feeling low or sad for no clear reason

        #having emotional outbursts, frustration, irritability, etc

        #getting negative thoughts

        #Troubles in concentrating

        #Repeatedly going over thoughts.

        #watching same content over and over.

        #Difficulty in watching/reading something new.

With time, I have learned how to manage most of my depression and anxiety. I still reach out for help and I am still in therapy but these are things that helped me :

# Taking every therapy session at the scheduled time and do the given tasks. Most importantly being open and honest with your doctor on what I can do and what is difficult.

#Journal Writing - This is a very important and helpful habit. It will help you in 2 ways. first, it will help your therapist in analyzing what is causing you depression/anxiety or any other issues. they can point it to the events that led to your breakdown and help you in dealing with those events in the future. Secondly,  writing helps you take it out of your brain it is like emptying the cup. Any negative thoughts won't haunt you again and again if you write them down and get them out.

#Getting creative and in touch with my hobbies. I started drawing regularly and it became a form of meditation for me. If you are not into the artistic drawing you can try mandala art or just get a coloring book and started coloring within lines. This gives a peaceful moment to the brain.

#Contraditicting my brain every time I have negative thoughts or every time I want to procrastinate things. Till today I fight back with my mind on small things like completing a certain task, getting up in the morning, urge to stay up late at night and be on phone, etc.

#maintaining sleep hygiene - Most of my day is defined by my quality of sleep so I make sure that I stay away from electronics- phone, laptop, tabs, TV, etc at least for 20-25 mins before I go to bed. make sure the room is not cluttered, have some ventilation for fresh air. Dim down the lights to the lowest, make it peaceful. Use eye masks and earplugs if it is not possible. In the morning try to get out of bed as soon as you wake up. Don't think 5 more minutes and go back. Drink a glass of water after waking up to balance the hydration and then start the day.

#Some form of exercise- Brisk walking, running, dance.

#Getting some sunlight in the morning. Sunlight helps in Vitamin D and the production of serotonin, a chemical the lack of which causes depression.

#adding protein in diet- Protein again helps in the production of serotonin.

#Educating my family on mental health and creating a support system for myself- Just like one can have BP, Sugar, Asthama I have depression, it is caused by the imbalance of certain chemicals and there is nothing to be ashamed about it or hide.

#Encouraging others with similar issues. when you encourage others you are helping yourself. it gives confidence to your brain.

#Giving positive affirmation at the end of the day. As I get my brain to work my way the whole day by end of the day I take 5 minutes to appreciate myself and the day. This helps the brain to be easy on your next day. It is like training a pet and rewarding him.

Today as I look back I feel proud of myself that I am strongly surviving mental health. I am aware that it might take me few more months or maybe a year to completely win this battle. I hope my journey can help spread awareness and encourage others.

If you need any help regarding mental health in finding doctors, doubts about therapy, or just want to empty your cup you can reach out to me at pua.arora@gmail.com and I will try to help you to in best of my capabilities.

Therapist is the navigator in the map of life

We live in the age of awareness still the whole idea of mental health and therapy is still not clear to most of us. Arts, books, cinema, etc are very powerful tools to enlighten us about these issues but many of the times they give you more sugarcoated or tragic versions of outcomes of such things. Reality is far from what is mostly shown.
Years back I remember watching the movie "Dear Zindagi" which mainly discussed mental health and therapy. It made me think wow, all you need is such therapy. This is the best thing.
Today however I realize, how wrong that picture of therapy was. I have now debunked many myths about therapy that you might expect going into one.
Firstly unlike the movie, there are 0% chances that you will have your therapy at a beach house in Goa (A place where you land and half of your sadness is gone) & your therapist will be charming SRK with cute dimples sharing his personal life (Remaining sadness has gone :P).
Your therapist will be a professional and your sessions will be either in their office or in today's time on audio/video call.

Don't expect immediate results from the first session. It is not going to turn your depression into happiness in one day. There is no flip button. Instead, it is a process of learning to manage your emotions and it takes time. Your therapist will be your guide in this.
There might be times that you don't hit it off with a psychiatrist/therapist. Don't be scared and don't drop the idea. Consider your therapist as a custom-made dress for you. Not every dress that you try on fits you. If you have a bad experience or you are not satisfied, research and find the right one. Read reviews and see who fits you the best.
Your therapist is not your friend or replacement of a friend and similarly, your friend cannot be your therapist. Your friend might listen to you at times but remember they might have some issues or troubles of their own. The therapist will help you have balanced friendships and relationships.
Therapy at first will make you uncomfortable. You might find things and tasks hard to follow, they might be opposite of your nature or your comfort zone. Try and follow your therapist's instructions, work on your issues, and eventually, things will get better. This is why you started therapy remember that.

Don't think that you will always need therapy. You might need it for a while say weeks, months, or years based on your problem but the ultimate goal is to teach you to handle things on your own in the future. This is the successful outcome of the therapy.
The hardest part is admitting that you need help and taking that first step. Don't worry, reach out to a professional, it takes courage but things will get easier from there. Asking for help is not a sign of weakness. You are strong enough to accept your issues and work on them.
As I am writing this, I hope that you are not going through issues or have experienced this. But if you have, you know the struggle then you are an inspiration. You know mental health better than people around you. Use this experience to help others, create awareness, make the chain. You educate five people they might educate five more. If you feel someone is disturbed or in a similar situation encourage them to seek help. Help them by sharing your good experience. Share with them the habits you adopted that helped you. Help them in connecting with professionals but in any case, DO NOT share your medications, You are not supposed to do that you guide them to professionals and let them do their job from there.
In this map of life, your therapist is your GPS navigator, their clinic is your Google map but you are the one holding the steering wheel. Follow the GPS but put efforts into driving yourself and you won't even know when you will get so familiar with roads and will be driving seamlessly.

"Tu Koshish to kar hal niklega,
Aaj nahi to kal niklega- Ananad Param"

P.S: if you are someone who needs help taking the first step or confused about how to reach out to a professional, my inbox is open for you.

Is life a straight line?

What does straight line mean for you?For me the straight line is the end. When the heart monitor shows a straight line
It means you are dead. But what if you are physically alive and still you see your life going into a straight line?
When someone's hatred doesn't bother you anymore. Someone's ignorance is nothing but a bliss. When you don't get butterflies on seeing your crush Or when your heart beats aren't fast when that person comes very close to you. When you just convince yourself that you are nothing but a shallow person.
We don't realise when we transition from being a person deep ocean of love to a shallow lake. Is this the price of something we pay for?
In today's world feelings have just become a cliche. We might not approve of our last generation with their ways and ideologies but what have we done with all this liberty? Look around and it is hard to find a person who is not heart broken. We constantly try to fill the void. Maybe by becoming a party animal, maybe having rebounds and at the end of the day we just pass out of our tiredness.
We think the solution of the broken heart is to have a person to love but the truth is we just need to love ourselves. All we need is a tight hug in a moment from someone with words that "Sorry you had to go through this. But look at you, you have passed through this and I am so proud of you. Of how strong you are. I am sorry that it had to happen like this but I know it is all going to be fine. You are going to be fine. You know how to love deeply. This is the time to give that love to yourself. Coz you deserve all this love coz you are beautiful as you are".

It might not  change our lives upside down in a split second But it will surely give us that comfort which we are seeking for long. We might not feel at peace but we won't be angry anymore. These words might make us think about ourselves, admiring ourselves. We always want to get away to find some solace. Maybe we find it in just ourselves.
I hope we all find such moments because that's the thing about these moments, they either shook us or calm us to that sleep we have been craving for.

To the person who gave me one such moment- Thank you, I am not most beautiful person but I felt so in that moment. Thank you for making me feel my life is not a straight line. I hope you find these moments too.
I hope we all do....

XOXO
Apoorva

Keep Calm and have a crush! ;-)

Crush- A feeling so simple yet so complicated.

If you Google, it says “A brief but intense infatuation for someone, especially someone unattainable”. Duh!! Seriously? Brief, Intense, Infatuation, Unattainable that’s too much complication for a sentence alone.. forget about reality.

Most of the times our crush is a person in our head who never exists. Of course we point to a particular person as our crush but the reality is we are only pointing to physical aspect of a person. When we get attracted to a trait of person to the core we start thinking about him. Now we start building personality of that person in our head with all the perfections we want in them and tadaaaaa!!! here is the person who is a perfect 10!. Admit it!that guy might be a douche bag but he is your crush, all thanks to the bubble you have created.

There is nothing wrong in it till it makes you happy and you don’t try to touch that bubble. There is thin line between crush and love. When you love a person you embrace them with all the perfections and imperfections. All the highs and lows, with their agony and pain. However your crush is someone just meant for you. A perfection that you are looking for and that’s the reason having a crush is most beautiful feeling in life.

But we greedy humans never settle for happiness that we have we always want more. You are asked not to touch the bubble or your fantasy world will shatter but you will do it. This brings us to a stage where we start getting obsessed to that person, totally forgetting that the crush is not that person but it is in our head. We chase them until we scare hell out of them and they give up. For a brief moment we have that happiness of victory and having that perfect one in your life. Look around yourself ,that’s the process that mostly happens. Crush turns to lovers turns soul mates. Then why do they fail? Given your crush was your “perfect one” a “tenner” to say.





No one can hurt you for having a crush other than yourself. There is a reason they are called crush and not love. Be it in your teenage or in your 50s, crushes are supposed to give you that giggle when someone tickles you in tummy. They give you a smile without any actual reason and we know it well. Then why don’t we enjoy it and be happy rather we start looking for reason for not being happy by forcing our crush to be in our real life. And when we do that our crush literally crushes us and trust me we don’t want to learn Homonyms like that: P.

Some things are not supposed to make any sense they are just meant to make us happy.

So just hum the song and move on…

“Is it real! Or just another crush…..” ;-)

MY BEST FRIEND WAS MY PAIR OF COMFORTABLE PJs

“Hey! Where are you? You got to know this, you know what happened today….” Every small or big milestone of life have to be delivered like this to your best friend. Having a best friend of opposite gender is the most amazing thing in life. No matter you are a guy or a girl, this is one relation that needs to be treasured with a lot of love and care. But often we end up messing this.

Your BFF is like your shadow. You don’t think in front of them you just react. You are your most genuine self with of them, you can act weird, be crazy, do nasty stuff and they won’t mind in fact your best friend will join you in all your craziness. You can even watch a Karan Johar moving drooling over the hot guy who turns out to be a gay later in the plot and sob when SRK meets Jaya Bachchan in K3G, your best friend will be there with a box of tissues and you never know he might be even using them: P.

But what happens when this beautiful relation is affected by some feelings caused by stupid hormones and things starts to get messed up.ehh.

This relation has a very fine line. It’s far beyond friendship and a step little less than Love and that’s how it is supposed to be. This relation doesn’t have a name. This is where you can freely walk up to their room and get them in a perfect outfit for date Or sometimes even get a date for them and hook them up. Well you never know ;-)

A slight turn in this story comes when your best friend falls in love with some other person. Oh yeah ..that feels like a bitch. Initially you are happy for your friend but as time passes his lover starts getting on your nerves. You can’t have exact same equation with your friend anymore. You have to be extra cautious. Why? Oh yes! So that their “Lover” doesn’t get offended. And these “lovers” will never understand your equation with your bestie. Or there can be vice versa that your lover is getting on your best friend’s nerves.

Let us take the latter case. Now once these things comes in a relation, there are hardly chances that your relation will survive. Sooner or later these cracks starts getting bigger and your relationship is now dead by the hands of your friendship. However the story doesn’t end here my friend. Suddenly you are in zone of some crazy movies like Jaane tu ya jaane na.. Or Better Maine Pyaar Kia Because “Ladka ladki kabhi dost nai hoskte” You have to drag “love” in everything. And the feelings which were buried somewhere in the corner of your mind starts dominating you. You start feeling for them and VOILA! You are now successfully hitched to your best friend. Which is a) Awkward b) weird c) It kinda feels gross. They know all your history from your serious affairs to hookups to your first cigarette. We don’t think at that moment that we are best friends, what if we fail as lovers? Not only will we lose a partner then but also our BFF.

Or if we assume, you by Almighty’s grace are super aware that how filthy things can go. You decide to shut off all these emotions trying to keep your beautiful friendship intact. But what if this time your friend pops up this question. Woo hoo Alert!! What coming in your way. Now you don’t wanna break their heart and don’t wanna get into it too. So you calmly explain them hoping things will be as they are. And here comes the NEWS FLASH!!! No they are not. You can’t discuss your crushes, your flings with them now knowing it will hurt them. You can’t be very open to them as this might make them feel for you even more and in all this you have successfully messed up your friendship. And in all these chaos of getting things right, you realize one thing “YOU HAVE LOST YOUR BEST FRIEND”

Now once who was your partner in crime has now become a memory. And all this because that relation which was much more than a friendship needed a name? Why to define it in a certain way?

A bag is just a bag but when it gets a name of GUCCI it becomes one heck of a price. And is now something to show off too. Why have we became so materialistic that we are doing same thing in our relations? Relations are priceless and we are setting a value and priority for them by doing stupid things to give them a name or a definition.

No matter how trendy your slim fit, Stretchable Levis denims are but nothing will beat your super comfortable PJs and that was my best friend.

They need to define my equation with my best friend? So here it is

“MY BEST FRIEND WAS MY PAIR OF COMFORTABLE PJs”

Not happening Love!

“It’s a wrong number” Said a voice from the other end. But are they really wrong? That’s the irony when you hear these words from familiar voices. You never think that things would go wrong. You create that perfect world of yours. Even after knowing hundreds of flaws in that person, you convince yourself that they are best for you. All those one liners “Live life on your own terms”, “Be your own hero first” “Its my life” are replaced by “Love needs sacrifice” “You need to be selfless and think of your love” “all it takes is a lil compromise to create beautiful relationship”.

You start loving someone so deeply that you forget to love yourself. And when the hitch comes suddenly the rainbow becomes black & white?

All those feelings that blended you with another soul are now two tones? And you are now at a path where you see them as right or wrong. Now you realize that it was your heart when you fell and now suddenly your brain is activated and giving you some wisdom advises.

The truth is you either start finding options & realize that oh! It can be much better. Or you start suffocating yourself with the flaws and loopholes in your “Once so cute” Relationship. In all these whirlpool going on you just forget one thing that was the base of everything “LOVE”. Which by now have become so tiny detail that you can hardly notice it in all that chaos.

And then comes the part where your endless talks in night turns to blue ticks with no replies. You start giving excuses to yourself that it’s to avoid fights. Though you know it’s YOU who have lost this essence of love. And then gradually the person you can’t live without becomes the person you can’t tolerate the presence of. You try your best to shatter them to find solace.

Hitting it hard again and again. Or you come to a stage where you convince the child in your mind saying that “No one was at fault, the fault was in our stars” and Come on! It has to be true because it was the bestselling book and highest grossing movie!

But why don’t we realize. The fault is within ourselves. It takes a fraction of second to kiss someone and say I love you. Because that’s what has to happen according to the plan, according to all epic and eternal love stories.

I hope someday we realize that those are their love stories and we are supposed to write our own.

Because ladies kissing frogs won’t turn them to be your prince charming and gentlemen there is no way Cinderella is going to leave a Gimmy choo and walk home barefoot after party.

-Apoorva

XOXO